Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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