Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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