Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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