they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
