I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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