I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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