Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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