I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
