imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
