I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
