I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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