So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
