I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize
