Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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