I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I smell stomach acid.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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