I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
