p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Drake has all the answers
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
