Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
