Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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