come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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