I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
