I need help removing her.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
