You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
