It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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