I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
