She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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