drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
