my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You are the jesus of drinking
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
