i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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