I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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