An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize