We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
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I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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