CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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