So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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