I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
