I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
