Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
