so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
