I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize