Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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