at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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