The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
