dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
