why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
