I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
