I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
