How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she peed on how many people?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
