Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
