But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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