Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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