It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
