her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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