her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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