is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
bring money and cleavage
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
