operation have a gay friend backfired
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
