I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
